Telling people about this surgery has been a major grey area for me.
Where most of our friends are concerned, my thought is that it's going to be pretty stinkin' obvious that I had something done so I don't really care if they know. Some other friends I'm not as eager to share the information with, just for personal reasons.
My family though - that's where it got sticky for me. My husband obviously knew the moment I knew. He's been to all of my appointments with me, has been an instrumental support in this whole thing and has been my rock to lean on when I get a little freaked out about it. Electively going under general anesthesia is sort of a big deal to me. This surgery is for purely cosmetic reasons - only my vanity is cause for the operation. I'm o.k. with that. There's still a risk though, no matter how small that I may not wake up from this surgery, or that something will go horribly wrong. When my daughter was born, things did go horribly wrong, and I nearly died. No joke. That scenario keeps replaying in my mind... what little I can remember.
I made the decision to tell my dad about it for the reasons I just discussed. He's literally the only family I have that I speak to on my side. He's all I have. He was supportive and told me he knew it was something I had wanted forever and that he was happy for me that I had made the decision to do it.
Where I struggle the most is what to tell my 6 year old little girl. I know that by getting this done, I send a message to her that to be happy with your body, you have to change things at a pretty serious level. What I decided to tell her is that it's important to love yourself. That Mommy exercises to be healthy and fit. Mommy eats healthy foods. Mommy makes sure to go to the doctor to check and make sure that everything is o.k., but that there are some things that exercise and eating right can't change or make better, and so I'm going to the doctor to help me like parts of me better than I do now. I told her that I will probably be super sleepy for a few days and that I'll be in bed for a couple of days, but that I will be just fine, that I still love her extra, and that I'll be up and about in just a couple of days. I asked her if she had any questions, and she said no. I felt like that was age-appropriate for her. As she gets older, we can talk about it more in depth. I just felt like for now, that's what she needed to know, and she'll ask the questions she needs to ask probably when it happens, and then we'll go forward from there. She's a smart kid. She'll know something is different and I'm sure she'll have questions. I am always very open and very direct (within reason - she is after all, only 6).
I just don't want her to have it in her head that she has to get a boob job to like her body. I am 33 years old. This is something I have wanted for myself since I was 15. I feel like I have waited long enough to be sure that this is something that I want for myself. I am confident in my decision (although, at 3 days pre-op, I am scared shitless!) and I know I am doing this for me 100%.
I'll keep you all posted.
H
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